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When Sadness Isn’t the End of the World

I was recently visiting my sister in Montana. She has an 11-year-old daughter, and you know what that means—the hormone rollercoaster is just pulling up to the station. One day, my niece called her mom and said, “Mommy, I’m so sad today and I don’t know why!” My sister and I locked eyes and thought, uh-oh, it’s coming. Poor baby.

Fast-forward to me, not 11 years old, but coming home from three months overseas in a Third World country. Jet lag, exhaustion, stress, disorientation, “where am I?”—it’s all part of the re-entry package. I texted my husband: I feel so depressed and irritable. I don’t want to talk to anyone. His response? “That’s jet lag, babe. Just take it easy.”

Oh. Right.

So I peeled myself off the couch, dragged my tired self to the gym, and even though I hadn’t been there in over a month due to travel, I knew I needed to get my blood pumping, sweat, and boost those endorphins. Moving my body is always the first step out of the blues for me.

And sure enough, it helped.

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Why Do We Forget the Basics?

It’s funny how quickly we spiral into thinking something is wrong with our lives when usually… it’s just the basics: biology, fatigue, or neglecting self-care. Feeling depressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or irritable? Before you misdiagnose your marriage, your career, or your purpose in life, check your calendar:

• Is your period around the bend? 
• Have you been sick or running on little sleep?
• Have you gone through something stressful or draining recently?
• Have you moved your body, gone outside, or eaten something that’s not drive-thru?

Most of the time, the answer isn’t “my world is falling apart”—it’s “I need a nap and some exercise.”

No, your marriage isn’t on the brink of divorce—you’re just acting cranky because you’re tired.

No, you haven’t missed your life’s purpose—you just need to drink water and stop scrolling at 2 a.m.

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When You Neglect Self-Care

Here’s the hard truth: when you neglect self-care, you don’t just pay the price—you make everyone around you pay it too. You get impatient, cranky, critical. You start snapping at the people closest to you, blaming them for how you feel when really… it’s not their fault. It’s yours.

Because nine times out of ten, the problem isn’t that your spouse is suddenly intolerable, or your kids are unbearable. The problem is that you’ve ignored your own needs. You haven’t rested, moved your body, or handled the basics. And when you don’t, you become a version of yourself that nobody—including you—enjoys being around.

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s responsible. It’s one of the most loving things you can do for the people in your life.

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A Reminder from an 11-Year-Old

Back to my niece. My sister told her, “It’s OK to feel sad, but then you need to get it together. Cry for a few minutes, talk about it, but then go outside, be with friends, do something fun, clean your room, shake it off. You’ll be just fine.”

And honestly? That’s advice I needed too.

It’s okay to feel sad or even a little depressed. It’s okay to have “off” days. Communicate how you feel and let the hubs know you are fine, it’s not HIM, just (fill in the blank) and you need a day.  But then—get up. Do the things you know help. Reset. Move. Pray. Laugh. Get outside. 

You’ll be just fine.

I’ll be just fine.

We’ll all be just fine.

Because sometimes, the most spiritual, wise, and mature thing you can do… is take a nap and go for a walk. 

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A Quick Self-Care Checklist

When life feels heavy, start simple. Here are the basics that reset your body, mind, and spirit:

         •        Sleep – Are you getting enough rest, or are you running on fumes?

         •        Move – Even a short walk or stretching can lift your mood.

         •        Eat well – Fuel your body with something nourishing, not just caffeine and not sugar.

         •        Hydrate – Water (your brain needs it!) – add a pinch of pink Himalayan salt for electrolytes! 

         •        Sunlight & fresh air – Get outside, breathe deep, let God’s creation reset you.

         •        Prayer & gratitude – Reset your perspective and invite God into the picture.

         •        Connection – Talk, laugh, or spend time with someone who makes life lighter.

         •        Declutter – Clean a corner, a desk, or your room—your mind will thank you.

         •        Fun – Do something that actually makes you smile.

You don’t have to do them all at once. Just start with one. Often, that one small reset is enough to turn the whole day around.

Let’s take care of ourselves, so we can properly love and care for those in our lives.  Go girls! We can do it! 

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