When did we start believing we could be greatly used by God without being greatly broken?

I begin a LOT of my posts with “I was recently.” Probably because my life gives me a new object lesson every 12 hours. This time, it was a reminder that for me to fulfill my destiny… God was going to allow some really hard stuff. I digress…

I was recently facing some glaring wounds from my past that I couldn’t recognize or pinpoint. I just knew my behavior was not healthy, normal, or coming from a good place. There was a root inside that was rotten, and I needed to investigate. That’s so much fun—realizing there’s stuff in you that has to be dug out in order for you to grow and flourish. Barf. 🙄 Eyeroll.   But then… thankful. 😂

My husband didn’t take my behavior personally but chose to help me to be healed and overcome instead. He’s so sweet. (Full disclosure: this has been learned over time. It’s been a process, but he’s mastered it faster than I have.)

But the question was still… do I want to? Because that always means confronting icky thought patterns and behaviors. That always means turning the accusing finger and pointing it right at myself. But why should I overcome when I can get away with how I’ve been?

1. Because it hurts God.
2. Because it hurts my family.
3. Because it hurts me and limits what God can do in my life.

Okay Lord. Whatever is in the cup You have for me, I will accept it. I was just really hoping it would be more like a delicious, comforting latte… but apparently, it’s going to be more like expired, curdled milk.

 Because no one great ever made it there coasting on comfort. Dying to myself is actually what is required. And dying? Well…that is a hard cup to swallow some days.  

“Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel.”
— Proverbs 25:4 (ESV)

It is painful when the Lord removes the dross or impurities from our lives. But He cannot use us to our full potential until those things are gone. And that process will take however long we choose. But once we surrender and allow it, then it becomes a sweet, healing moment that makes any form of suffering from the Lord seem worth it—even joyous.

I was in worship and reminded of a beautiful prophecy spoken over me last year. The prophet said I would be an ‘anointing oil of healing’ for women. 

And the Lord asked me, “How will that happen if you choose not to be healed yourself? If you resist, or think it’s too hard to face your own thinking, fears, or wounds? How can you expect others to?”

Great question, Lord. And I cried and decided to surrender once again to whatever is in my cup. I will joyfully and thankfully go through the pain of healing, change, and confronting my pride and my destructive thinking in order to choose what HE has for me. He can do the ‘impossible’ inside me. And I trust Him to do just that.

Luke 18:27 — “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”

“So today, this week, this month… what has the Lord been trying to pull out of you?

• What are you fighting Him on?
• What impurity is holding you back from greater freedom and blessing?
• What are you refusing to surrender—and is it worth it?
• What will the consequences be if you hold on?”

**For me, the thought of the precious women who need healing—the ones I’m called to help—makes it worth it. Every tear. Every painful change. Every humbling moment of repentance. It is all worth it.

My husband is worth it. My calling is worth it. And JESUS—YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

My suffering is nothing compared to what You have already done for me. And I will spend every day of my life trying to say thank You with how I live. 

Go, girls, it is WORTH IT.