Kerobokan Prison, Bali Indonesia. I don’t want someone else getting my assignments because I was too afraid to say yes. More about that below…

Yesterday I used my mouth to confirm fears.

I stepped out in courage and decided to have no fear. I said things with courage and bravery… and then when the fear returned, I said, “I regret stepping out in courage…. I wish I never would have said it.”

Rich’s response:

“Regret saying THAT… and (regret) negative fearful thoughts.”

He meant: You are regretting the wrong thing.

You stepped out in faith. You spoke with courage. Then you became fearful again and spoke against your faith. And instead of regretting your fearful words, you regret having faith in the first place!

You know what husband? Shut. It.

Not really. I listen to him. I need him. And he is right, a lot.

But seriously… it got me thinking… 

Why would I regret faith? And not even notice?

I have been tackling fear in my life for a long time. We are like onions. We conquer a layer, and it exposes another, deeper layer. It doesn’t mean we are failing; it means we simply need to overcome at another level.

This was that.

God exposing more thinking that does not suit me any longer.

I have been accustomed to living with fear because it’s safer. It has been my protection from change, the unknown. It’s been my shield. It is what I have kept close to me for 44 years. Well maybe like 40… idk what I did ages 1–4 lol… 

Speaking the opposite of my fear, in FAITH??

Well shoot! Now I have to align my life to the faith that I spoke!

And apparently some part of me wasn’t too excited about that.

Because fear is a stronghold, and it does not want to be eradicated. It wants to stay. It is comfortable. If I remove it, I am exposed, open, vulnerable. The wound I am protecting is uncovered and at risk of being hurt again.

I recently stubbed my toe so hard I think it went to heaven without me. ☹️ Bye second toe.  I almost cried… and Rich called me a huge baby, until my toe swelled and turned purple.  He took it back. 

After that, I became hyper-aware of it. Every step felt risky. I was constantly trying to protect it from getting hurt again. 

Which I failed at.

Twice.

I am a very irresponsible owner of toes.

(Extra nugget: SLOW DOWN. No amount of speed is worth the life of a toe! LOL)

Fear works the same way.

It keeps us focused on protecting the wound instead of moving forward. It convinces us that avoiding pain is more important than living.

But the Lord Jesus died for our healing, and NOT moving forward is NOT an option.

1 Peter 2:24 TPT says “Our instant healing flowed from his wounding.”   I do not want to take his wounds for ME in vain. 

I wrapped my toe to its neighbor and kept living life. Before I knew it, it felt fine.

It still looks terrible.

But it feels much better.

My heart can move forward too. It might not be pretty, but as I keep moving forward, it gets easier and easier. Before I know it, I will forget the pain of what I felt before, only remembering that it happened.

Then I came across this verse:

“Is it possible that fresh and bitter water can flow out of the same spring? So neither can a bitter spring produce fresh water.” – James (Jacob) 3:12 TPT

I’m not bitter. Definitely have had moments, but today I am free from it.

But insert “fearful” here and I think it works the same.  What do you think? 

Is it possible that fresh (faith) and fearful water can flow out of the same spring? So neither can a fearful spring produce faith water.

Fear is contaminating.

It paralyzes you. It prevents you from moving forward and taking risks. It creates tension, reaffirms old wounds, and keeps you focused on what might happen instead of what God has said.

The enemy won that little battle yesterday.  Or so he thought.  By God’s grace I caught it and renewed my mind, changing according to the WORD.  

And I don’t intend to keep handing him victories.

I will speak in faith.

And when fear comes creeping back, I will rebuke it instead of agreeing with it.

In the picture I chose to use for this post… it is in Kerobokan Prison in Bali, Indonesia. Watch the Netflix Documentary on it. You’ll freak out.

I get the opportunity to minister to the women there when I come to Indonesia. I was there just last week in this picture. I get to go back soon and baptize some of them.

Had I not chosen to trust the Lord, overcome the things I was fearful of over the last decade, I never would have been given this opportunity, and the Lord would have to use someone else.

So I choose to move forward in faith. I say, “YES” to Him.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Because you can’t keep this girl from moving forward in faith.

Let’s GO GIRLS!! Let’s be unstoppable in and for JESUS!