“It’s much more beneficial initially to be a victim than to be responsible…”.  Unknown 

TWO WORDS: PLAYING VICTIM.  

This used to be my “go-to” anytime I was confronted with something I did wrong or something about my character I needed to change… I was a genius in coming up with ways of making it someone else’s fault.

Why? Because if I can get you to buy my story… you are off my back.  I am no longer the one to blame and I don’t have to hear about it or change. Much more beneficial for me in the moment.  

I sometimes would pull this little stunt with Rich when we were first married.  The classic “You are the reason I do that, it’s your fault!” 

The downside to being married to a dude that takes his role seriously is that you can’t get away with that kind of BS. 😅 I tried and failed, many, many times.  He would call me on it every time and I would be left with nothing but excuses flying out of my mouth.  Infuriating!! 

I know it is hard to imagine this girl, a perfect pastor😜, behaving in this manner but it is totally true, it’s totally wrong, and apparently, I am totally human, rescued only by the grace of God just like the rest of us.  

TWO MORE WORDS: TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.  

When you take responsibility for yourself, your actions, your opinions, your attitudes, and your words, it will cost you. 

“Taking responsibility for your actions involves owning up to the positive and negative consequences of your choices and behavior, rather than attributing them to external factors or others’ actions.” – Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

Say whaaaa?  

OWNING UP.  WHY is it SO HARD? It’s so hard to admit faults, and take responsibility for the times we mess up, make mistakes, or fail… 

Our spiritual maturity always tells on us!  Too many times we are like a toddler, crying to get our way, poopin’ in our pants, making messes, throwing fits, and expecting everyone else to clean it all up. 

We hurt people, we make excuses for not doing what we said we would do, we are selfish, we lie, we pretend we are someone we clearly are not, and we tell ourselves we are someone we are clearly not…. And then we cover our own butts, expecting everyone else to take the blame and fall for our messes. 

Being responsible is difficult.  But if you are maturing, it’s a normal part of life everyone MUST do. 

Think about this for a moment… and BE HONEST.  

How many times a day do you deflect fault to someone or something outside of yourself? 

How many times a day do you automatically make an excuse for WHY?  Without even thinking?  

Proverbs 12:22  NASB “Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.“

Proverbs 28:13 NASB “One who conceals his wrongdoings will not prosper, but one who confesses and abandons them will find compassion.“

AND TWO FINAL WORDS: GROW UP. 

If you are a person living in a perpetual state of blame-shifting and excuses, you’re living as a spiritual toddler. 

Sure “It’s much more beneficial initially to be a victim than to be responsible…” but at what cost?  

We won’t grow.  We CAN’T grow.  In ANY area of our lives.  

This is how people lose, fail, and never fulfill their potential.  This is how job opportunities pass you up, marriages struggle, die, and end up in court.     This is how you ensure you train your kids to never overcome, never conquer, and never take responsibility. This is how you have mediocre friendships and a ministry that is weakly stumbling along because you do it in your own strength.

Grow up.  Stop playing the victim and making excuses.  Take the road of humility and grab ahold of the Holy Spirit and allow him to CHANGE you, MOLD you, and USE you. Will it hurt and be hard and totally suck?  YEAH, A LOT.  But not as much as staying the same.  

Here are three scriptures I will end on… 

1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.”

James 1:22-25 “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.“

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

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W&W – E63: If You Want To Stay A Pathetic P*ssy, Keep Blaming Others For Your Problems

 

Destiny Church Pastor Rich Witmer

Thinking: Love God With Your Mind; Part 3: Personal Responsibility 

WATCH HERE: https://subspla.sh/q33dhdn

Destiny Church Pastor Rich Witmer

Thinking: Love God With Your Mind; Part 4: Overcoming Victim Mentality 

WATCH HERE: https://subspla.sh/6qcbyp7