Willing to Be Disturbed: “But My Family!” Part 2

What?? Did I hear you right?? So, you want me to go to Indonesia with you for THREE MONTHS?! Uh no. 

I am a mom. And I don’t care that my boys are 17 & 19…. They STILL NEED ME. 

So, you can take that idea and throw it in the trash! 

My response to my sweet missionary husband when he approached me with his grandiose plans. 😅I was shocked he would even ask that of me! 

I tried to forget that conversation even happened. But deep down in my heart, I knew it wasn’t Rich who was asking. The Lord was putting it on Rich’s heart, and I am his help mate: I signed up for this, to be on his team. And now the time is coming for us to ACT on what the Lord is putting in place. Fart. 🥺 There is no way around this one.

Here I was, acting like a total brat, unwilling to be disturbed. Pastor Paulus’s message was still kicking my butt. (See Part 1). 

But it’s my KIDS. Surely God doesn’t want me to leave my kids. “He doesn’t separate families” is what someone once told me…. But there is a long Biblical history of God doing the opposite.

I began to feel conviction about my attitude towards God regarding this. I started realizing that my problem was not trusting God with my children. That I needed to be in control, I needed to be around in order for God to reach them, speak to them, and use them. If they didn’t have me in their lives, who would make sure they served the Lord? If I leave for three months, how will they be okay?! 

The Lord asked me this: Do you really think that you are that important? So important that I cannot touch the lives of those two boys unless I do it through YOU? With YOUR permission? 

Well, God, now that you put it like that…. 😅

🥺 I felt so foolish. I felt so small. I thought about my life. I was a mess when I was their age… God didn’t ensure my mother was hovering around 24:7. He rescued me without her help. (Now, I do believe her prayers and attempts to haul me to church contributed and planted seeds, but it was the Lord who rescued me, changed me, and sealed the deal.) 

So here I was, faced with a dilemma. If I trust the Lord with my kids and answer the call on my life, willing to be disturbed for the gospel, everything will be 100% out of my control.

If I keep things in my control, I also will keep things OUT of GOD’S control. 

So I knew I needed to surrender control and get out of God’s way. For my own life and the life of my boys. 

Besides… they are basically grown men. Mothering time needed to be over. 🙄 Get a grip, woman.  

QUESTION: 

Are YOU willing to be disturbed and let go of the things you hold most sacred? Do you have untouchables in your life that you don’t allow God to ask or require of you? 

When the Lord told Abraham to sacrifice his son on that altar… nowadays, we would insist that was the devil trying to break up the family! But it was GOD. And He didn’t care how Abraham felt about it. In fact, God was testing Abraham. God wanted to see if Isaac, Abraham’s son, was more important to him than the Lord was. Had he made his son an idol? Or was God still the King of his heart? Thankfully, he passed the test. 

In American culture today, many “good Christian people” will be found guilty when facing the Lord. I fear I was one of them. Parents use their kids as reasons to skip church, weekly church group meetings, or reasons why they are unavailable to help in times of need. “Oh, sorry, I need to get little Johnny home for a nap… otherwise I’d be there!” 

Obviously, naps and schedules are important, but how quickly our children take the throne over the call of God. 

This situation was my test. And I failed at first. But through conviction and repentance, I have changed my heart. This test brought the sin in my heart to the surface and challenged the things I talked about believing. I realized I could talk all day about being willing to pay any price, about “God comes first,”… but when the test comes, MY LIFE MUST REFLECT WHAT I HAVE PROCLAIMED. 

I decided to lay my sons on that altar. I gave them to Jesus. I decided I AM willing to be disturbed. I thought, how stupid that I would trust myself over Jesus with the lives and futures of my children anyway.  With Jesus isthe best place for them and me to be!  

What if we all said like Abraham said (in his own way, lol), “Jesus, take these freakin kids!! Make their lives something I never can! Put them through the hard stuff that will shape them into the people they are called to be! I am getting out of the way and allowing you to have YOUR way. I’m living my calling, and the enemy isn’t going to use my kids against me as a trap to stop me or slow me down!!”

When we give the enemy our kids as our excuse, it will ruin ALL our destinies! We must surrender and cling to Jesus. No reason is a good enough reason not to do this. 

One last thing… please don’t misunderstand this post. I am not telling mothers to abandon their children for ministry. Your family is your FIRST ministry. But when Jesus calls, you had better make sure your priorities are RIGHT and that your children have the correct place in your heart. Then, and only then, can God’s plan and purpose be fulfilled.  

Be willing to be disturbed, in every way, by the Lord. Go, Girl.