Season Of Singleness: God’s Portion

BROKEN LITTLE GIRLS…

I was a little girl who was broken.  My guess is that you were too.

I have a handful of beautiful memories with my father. I remember riding on the tank of his motorcycle with him to get ice cream at the petting zoo down the country road in Montana. I always had ice cream dripping off my cone, down my hand & arm, reaching through the fence to pet the goats and lamas with the other, lol. Each summer, we would go camping and fishing with our family, and I remember dad always being there in his shorts and cool sunglasses, with his 80s blonde hair.

He took me outside one night and showed me the stars. He pointed out the brightest star and said, “Annie, if anything ever happens to me, I will be on that star… watching out for you. You will find me there.” Little did I know he would be gone less than one year later.

As I reflect on how I felt about him as a child, he was my daddy. He was my protector. He was the person I never thought would not be in my life. I remember how much I loved him.  

He began making lots of trips to the doctor. Then, in the middle of the night, emergencies started happening. My sister and I would wake up at my grandparent’s house… not understanding my dad was at the hospital. He began to lose all his hair and was so skinny. He came home from one of his trips with so many staples in his stomach and a lot of weird tubes and ‘hospital things’ hooked up to him. He was too sick to watch us unwrap our Christmas presents that year, so my mom did her best to make that year as happy as she could for my sister and me.  

I wasn’t able to process what was happening in my 5-year-old brain. My dad had been diagnosed with cancer, and two years later, he was gone, when I was seven. This was the beginning of a lot of events that would bring heartache into all of our lives. My mother the very most.  

Why do I start with this story?  

Because the trauma of my life derailed my calling.  

“The trauma caused me to make life-altering decisions out of pain.”

It created fear and belief that I could never trust God with my life. He would fail me. I felt like I always needed to have a plan, and a plan-B backup plan, and then possibly a plan-C, worst-case scenario backup plan for my backup plans.  

Trusting God was something I heard that I should do. Although I never really meant to implement it, I wouldn’t be fooled by Him again. 

I wish stuff like that were more evident to us sometimes. I didn’t consciously think those things or purposely live them out. It just came out in my decisions because that was in my heart. I thought I loved God and trusted Him! At least I wanted to!  

REDIRECTED BY GOD… 

I got saved in 2002 and had an intense desire and “pull” on my heart to do mission. But I didn’t know what that meant, so I began researching and found YWAM. I read about people my age (19) traveling on a boat to some third-world country, helping and ministering to the people there. I filled out all the paperwork and was so excited to go… but then I got scared.  

I backed out and was married less than a year later.  

And that was it. I missed it.  

Long story short, God worked my decisions for good. I ended up in Arizona in 2003, I ended up at a mission-driven church, and I ended up right where God wanted me.  

I have been in ministry for 19 years this year, 2022. The healing that has occurred from then until now is daily and constant. And not by accident, but because I refuse to remain the same. We are like onions… we conquer a layer and receive healing, only to find another layer of wounds that need to be conquered. That will be our whole lives, right? 

Like most, as I reflect on my past, I wish I could go back and do things differently.  

So I thought this would be the beginning of an essential conversation with you single ladies.  

DON’T GIVE AWAY GOD’S PORTION…

Marriage changes everything. Marriage IS God’s idea, and it IS wonderful, and YES, I believe most of us NEED to get married (I mean, we are built with baby makin’ equipment, and when you are young, it is working FULL FORCE!) But there is something special about the relationship the Lord has with a young, single person who is wholly surrendered. They become unstoppable. They become dialed in. They become WORLD CHANGERS.  

“I gave away that season, and God wanted it… He wanted it just with me.”  

Once you tie the knot, everything changes. Even the Bible says you can no longer entirely focus on your life for the Lord, but your interests have to be divided. 

1 Corinthians 7:34, NLT says, “His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.”

You no longer have the option to move away to Indonesia for a year to work with the orphanages. You no longer have the opportunity to pick up move across the country, to answer the call of God at a moment’s notice like you can if you are unattached.  

I missed the season of having no attachments, nothing tying me down or holding me back, no material things to bog me down, and no significant commitments I cannot walk away from. Marriage and children remove this precious season from your life. Marriage presents a different way, a different path, and different blessings, all equally good. But once you pass up the season of singleness, you can’t get it back.  

Let me stress again; I am 100% for marriage and children. It is ALSO his plan for most of us. But I am trying to help you not miss out on this opportunity to experience God in a different way, BEFORE marriage.  

I was so desperate for someone to love and care for me that instead of running away with Jesus on a life-altering mission, I ran away with a man.  

I didn’t know Jesus was jealous of my love and wanted to have time with me alone. I didn’t realize He had healing for me, and wanted to introduce Himself to me. I didn’t know He wanted to develop my trust and faith in Him.  He wanted to be my husband first.  He wanted me to find my identity IN HIM, not someone else. He didn’t want me to run to a man and try to get all my needs met by this person.  

God did not create our husbands to meet OUR NEEDS. No one can do that for us, only HIM.  Figuring that out prior to marriage will save you a LOT of problems!

I see single people in the church not taking advantage of this season, not taking it seriously, but taking it for granted. It’s almost like they are waiting to get married for their lives to begin!

They are not focused on their personal or spiritual growth. They don’t have a ministry. They live consumed in our culture; they surround themselves with friends, entertainment, and things. They are always on the hunt for someone that could be the “one”. It makes my heart sad.  

I read books by incredible women like Corrie Ten Boom, Elisabeth Elliot, and Aimee Semple McPherson, who have done exploits and surrendered their lives to God, and I want that for each of them so badly! I want to scream at them, “GO and SURRENDER your ALL to JESUS!! Get out of here and fulfill God’s calling for you in this season of singleness!”

But no… they are fearful. They want control. They don’t know or trust the Lord like they should or could, and they miss it.  

YOU… WOMAN OF GOD… can you hear me pleading with you?? My heart is yelling, “learn from my mistakes!! Don’t do what I did!” 

Don’t allow your past to rob you of your future. Don’t allow fears to create a need for control in your life. Don’t let the culture or pressure of your peers rob you of your choices and freedom. Instead, live a life of simplicity. Don’t allow anyone to steal away time alone with Jesus in your life. Saturate yourself in the things of God and discover his purposes for you.  

“The condition of God’s blessing is absolute surrender of all into His Hands.” – Andrew Murray 

God has blessings and surprises for you, personally.  

He loves YOU. He has plans and dreams and feats for YOU to have and conquer! No one else can fulfill the calling God has on YOUR life during this season of singleness. It must be YOU.  

Develop your single life with Jesus. God is jealous for your time, affection, and love; don’t give it away to someone else. Trust the Lord and let it all go.  

Burn up for Jesus! Don’t burn out!   

HOMEWORK☝️:  

READ:

• Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray 

• Elisabeth Elliot – Just read any of them. 

• Minimalist Rulebook: 16 Rules for living with LESS by Joshua Fields Millburn 

Listen to or Read: 

• Corrie Ten Boom’s Biography 

• Aimee Semple McPherson’s biography