The Dangers Of Romanticizing Life

If you have ever taken a gander at the book of Song of Solomon, you are either totally lost and confused… or you’re feeling a little flushed and embarrassed at some of those hot and heavy scenes.  The romance in that book is TOP NOTCH.  Poetic, romantic, and beautiful, and talk about the sexual tension between two lovers… did God allow this in His Word by mistake?  Surely not.  

The romance between man and wife is acceptable and applauded by the Lord.  It is the way He created and intended marriage to be!  

But a problem with romance arises when it is happening for the sake of romance.  Romance can be intoxicating, and because of that, it can be destructive when it’s OUTSIDE marriage.  

“The act of “falling in love” produces a chemical deluge in the brain similar to that experienced with drug use. The brain is awash in adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin (the feel-good chemicals), which cause us to want to return to the source of that feeling. But, because of our brain’s response, romance can become an addiction.”  – Got Questions Ministries

Wait WHAT?  IT’S ADDICTIVE?  😬 Yes.

It’s EMOTIONAL and it’s DANGEROUS when you allow yourself to be led by these emotions.  Forget hearing from God… or your leader, pastor, friends, or even family.  Your feel-good chemicals are workin’ full force.  Once you get some, you want more😳!  

Christians go on a date; they have a nice time, they maybe touch and feel that “feeling,” and their romanticizing is off to an unstoppable start. Then, they begin listing all the reasons why these feelings MUST be God’s will.  

Is it, though? 🤨 Or are you compromising your morals, values, and purpose from God for this unrealistic, romantic idea you have sold yourself? 

I had a great friend of mine comment to me on relationships today.  She has been through MORE than her share of trauma and drama around failed relationships.  She is single, gorgeous, successful, and living for Jesus with all she’s got.  She has found contentment with Jesus while waiting for whatever He has prepared for her future: Man or NO man.    

She said, “Too many Christian women compromise because of unrealistic dreams.  They romanticize about what life could look like with someone instead of asking GOD what purpose their life was created for.”   

EXACTLY.  

They romanticize about finding a soul mate; they think about it in light of all the positives, the emotional highs, and with those sex hormones raging (which, I get, but come on ladies, it’s also 100% controllable.) 

What does it mean to romanticize something? 

Oxford Languages says it means: to deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is.

Are you lost in dreamy land over some guy that doesn’t even meet God’s essential requirements?  Are you making excuses for someone that you know, deep down, that God might not have planned for you?  

Pay attention because THIS is about the time people take back control of their lives, take it away from God, and start making really bad decisions.  

I am pretty sure I did exactly that.  With my first marriage ending in total devastation, I wished I would have slammed on the breaks.  I wish I had known better how to lay aside emotions and seek the Lord and his will for my life.  I KNOW I romanticized how perfect my life would be with this man I met, who had screaming red flags.  My feelings MUST be the Lord (despite people warning me it wasn’t a good idea, lol). 

By His grace… I have many positives from my mistakes… but not without hurting the Lord, everyone I love, and myself.  Romanticizing about my life came at a high price.  

I cannot stress this enough to those praying for a spouse.  Do not compromise.  Do not set anyone before your love for the Lord.  Proceed with caution and keep pastors, friends, family, or leaders involved.  Be HONEST with them, be honest with yourself. 

The bottom line is that YOU are responsible for your obedience to God.  You are the one who gets to choose to receive His will for your life or your own way.  Marriage is the second most significant decision you can ever make.  No amount of romanticizing can make up for the cold, hard truth.  

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

What did God create your life for?  Don’t compromise anything for that purpose.  Whatever is in the cup the Lord is offering you, receive it. Even if it doesn’t sound as romantic as you have dreamed it should, He promises it will be worth it.  

🔥🔥🔥Go, Girls. Live for Jesus and make it count.